Track Off

As a mother of a kindergartner I am learning many new phrases. Like when Cali all of a sudden started saying, "Oh my gosh mom, don't go major on me." What does "going major" exactly mean? Who knows.

However, my all-time favorite new phrase was introduced to me by Cali's teacher. She started sending home notes several weeks ago regarding the upcoming track break. The notes went something like this, "don't forget to send in you homework folder before we track off." I had to read it several times before I put it together. Track Off: a phrase meaning to go off track or to take a track break.

Now I've adopted "Track Off" into my vocabulary because it sounds so similar to so many of my other favorite phrases. For example, Back Off! And other {Fill in the blank} Off's. Thank you kindergarten!

P.S. Tracking Off is not all it's cracked up to be. We are on day two of track break and Cali is already at her wit's end. She is bored, and the off track homework packet is not as "fun" as real school. I am also a little sick of hearing, "Can I go to a friend's can a friend come here can I go somewhere, can you take me to a friend's can I call a friend, Carter isn't fun to play with can I call a friend......" This starts at about 7:59a.m.

So Worth It

Last week Christian and I went downtown to see the Body Worlds exhibit at the Leonardo.(thanks to Bethany and Tyler for tending our crazy meowzers for a few hours) It may be the most intense thing I've ever seen in my life. It was so amazing and just incredible. I have a completely new appreciation for the human body. It is truly a miracle that any of us are living! If you live in the Salt Lake area, buy tickets here.

I wasn't sure how much or how little of the actual bodies I wanted to post here, but is you're not at all squeamish you can see some amazing photos taken by a Deseret News photographer Tom Smart here.

Walk {Cry and Run Away} -A-Thon

On Thursday Cali participated in the first annual school walk-a-thon, and thankfully, the only fundraiser for the year. Family and friends could pledge by the lap, or just give a flat pledge. Knowing the longevity of this girl's legs I wisely made a flat pledge. My intuition was right. She walked 22 laps, which is just shy of four miles (24 laps was the four mile mark).

Since the parents were invited to walk with their children I thought that Carter and I should make a day of it. We showed up at the appointed time, with our walking shoes on. Carter made it about two laps before he went into complete melt-down mode. Oh, backing up a bit, I nearly lost him, my camera, and my cell phone before the festivities even began. So, we walked two laps then he freaked, then he saw the play ground, then he ran away. I spent most of the afternoon watching Cali walk as I watched Carter play on the playground.

At about lap 12 Cali started complaining that her shoes were hurting her feet. She was wearing her Nike Shox, but apparently they are getting a little too small. Instead of quitting, she asked if I would go home and find her a new pair of shoes so she could keep walking. I rounded up Carter, ran home, and returned with her favorite Cali Gear shoes. She slapped them on and was good for another 10 laps.


Still truckin' along, after the shoe switch.


While at home, I also took the opportunity to grab Carter's stroller and Yankee Blankee. Carter has to be really very very tired to be seduced into sitting in a stroller.

All in all it was a pretty long day. The pizza party afterward was it's own fiasco, but I don't have the patience or nervous system to reenact it.

I'm Kind of a Big Deal

If you know Christian, you know that he can't get enough of Will Ferrell. Consequently, Anchorman is one of his all time favorite shows. The first time we saw it (in a tiny movie theater in Price) he laughed harder than anyone in the entire theater. Which made me (and everyone else who was with us) laugh harder than was really necessary. Over the years we have had many Anchorman moments, we have incorporated much of Ron Burgundy's vocabulary into our own.

If there is anyone who loves Ron Burgundy more than Christian, it's my brother Brandt. A few weekends ago he took his love of all things Anchorman to a whole new level. The similarities are striking, scary, and hilarious.

In the Words of a 1990's Rap Song

I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
And a Six Four Impala





Thank you Skee-Lo for the inspiring lyrics from your 1995 song, "I Wish".

Card Club {One Year Later}

On Saturday night we celebrated our card club's one year anniversary. For the most part we are still made up of the same original members, we've had a few drop and a few add, but all in all we made it a whole year! My grandma Cook was involved in a club, I think the official name was "Etiquette Club" but she always just referred to it as "club". Each member took a turn hosting and they got together for a dinner once a month. She was still attending "club" with many of it's original members just months before her death. That club has seen at least 60 years.

Dorey hosted on Saturday, and in true Dorey fashion, everything was just perfect. We ate (I must get the spinach dip recipe) then made some very cute Halloween decorations. It was a great night. Here are a few pictures.

Thank goodness Dorey has huge table and every single kind of paper and ribbon known to man!


Sharane, Regina, and Stacey striving for perfection!


A picture of Audrey's islander's renter's pubes or just some spidery yarn...you decide.


My finished product. It's now hanging on my mirror and looks great! Thanks Dorey for being such a gracious host.

It's my turn to host in October... any ideas or suggestion?

{Almost} Enough to Make a Grown Man Cry

Last night was the last baseball game ever to be played in Yankee stadium. Although Christian had to be up at 3am for work, he insisted on watching the entire game (baseball games are not short). It started out with a tribute to several of the most famous Yankee players all culminating with Babe Ruth's (The Sultan of Swat, the Colossus of Clout, the Great Bambino) daughter throwing out the first pitch. Followed by hours of baseball, ending with a Yankee's win. Then Derek Jeter and crew doing a final lap around the field to the tune of "Start spreadin' the news I'm leavin' today, I want to be a part of it, NEW YORK NEW YORK!" I tried to take several pictures of Christian while he was watching the game, but he was having none of that. The looks on his face ranged from joy, to admiration, sadness, love, and pretty much everything in between. Several times I teased him about getting teared up, but I have no proof to back that up.

This was Priceless

Last night I was done. Really done. I'd been at work all day, and at young women's for a good chunk of the night. When I came home it was time to start the nightly routine of getting these wild meowzers to bed. We skipped bath time, and went straight to reading time with Cali. After fifteen minutes of patience trying reading we were ready to brush our teeth. I lured the kids into the bathroom with a new tube of toothpaste. Carter hates to brush his teeth, he would much rather suck the paste off the brush and drink endless slurps of water. I was trying to coax him into moving his head back and forth fast over his toothbrush when he paused to make this comment:

Carter: (standing on the toilet, leaning over the sink, catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror, pauses...) You are a handsome devil. (resumes teeth brushing).
Cali: And guess what Carter, there really is a devil, his name is Satan.
Carter: (eating toothpaste and drinking water.....)

Christian and I looked at each other and couldn't even begin to contain the laughter.

I've Won a Major Award

My friend Tatum passed a blog award onto me, and upon reading her tribute I was not only flattered, but honored. My sister Bethany and I have often considered ourselves comic geniuses. We have even wondered why more people don't think we are funny (I know, there are much better things worry about). Well, sweet sweet validation has come my way. Here's what Tatum had to say. Thank you Tate!

Most Likely to Squirt Milk Out of Your Nose While Reading

Cammie always gives it to you straight with her blog- no censoring or watering down of, say...swear words at Family Home Evening. With two of the funniest kids I've ever met, this family and their blog just ooze humor. Her posts are endlessly fascinating to me.

I Want My Baby Back Baby Back Baby Back

Chili's babyback ribs......Barbeque sauce.

Frankiethegoat and Parkerthebaby

This past weekend we were able to visit our family in Price and Castle Dale. We were also fortunate to spend some time with the newest members of our family. Frankiethegoat and Parkerthebaby. Carter says both as if they were one word. So here they are!

Grandpa, Frankie, and Cali. Frankie likes to have all the attention.


Frankie likes attention so much that he wouldn't let Carter sit on grandpa's lap. In fact, he lowered his head and butted Carter in the knees each time he tried to sit on grandpa's lap.


Melissa, Cali and Parkerthebaby. She is just the most beautiful mother.


Our Pollastro family minus our Dustin (Minnesota) and Brittany (Sweden...not for long!)


Cali likes to hold Parker and comfort him. She even rocked him to sleep, right before her arms gave out.

Sorry for the Blog Neglect

Instead of blogging we've been.....

Eating Cake


Painting


More Painting


White coating with Bethany and Tyler


Playing in the dirt

New Drama Same Zip

Oh Dylan, Brenda, Brandon, Steve, David, Donna, Kelly, and Andrea how I have missed you. Since you were snatched off the air in the year 2000 my life has never been the same. Is there any possibility that the new 90210 series could be as wonderful as the original? I don't know. But I intend to find out on Tuesday on the CW. Nicole are you with me?

Adding Insult to Injury

Christian found out last week that he has a huge tear in his Achilles tendon (see above diagram for details). He turned his ankle while we were climbing Wheeler Peak, but didn't think much of it. He continued to play basketball each week, until the pain prevented him from running up and down the court (that's when you know it's bad). He iced it every night, and walked on it all day at work, but it never seemed to get any better. Finally after about a month he went to the doctor. He now has to wear a large boot on his foot for the next 6 weeks, not to mention the physical therapy and vast amount of ice. We are hoping that wearing the boot will give it time to reattach and heal properly, and that he gets feeling better very soon. He couldn't even mow the lawn this week, which was like torture for him!

A Reason to Celebrate

On Saturday I reintroduced the potty trainer to Carter. He was mildly amused, and sat on it for a few minutes. I offered him cup after cup of juice and water with the hope that it would get his juices flowing. Nothing. Christian came home from work and offered to watch Carter while Cali and I ran to the store. When I got home there was much joy and elation at our house. Whilst I was gone, Carter peed in the potty trainer. Christian said the exchange went something like this:

Christian: (upstairs vacuuming, sees Carter walk up the stairs with no underpants on...stops vacuuming)
Carter: Dad, dad I have to tell you something.
Christian: What Carter?
Carter: I sat on the potty trainer and something came out of my winger.
Christian: Let's go see.
Carter: (very excited pointing into the potty trainer)
Christian: I am so proud of you (much celebration!!)

So, we've made a huge step. He now knows where the potty comes from (his "winger") and where it goes (in the potty). I thought that maybe this was a one time deal. Something that he did just to impress his dad. But, no. He did it again yesterday too. He may actually be potty trained before the age of 12.

pictures coming.......

V.I.P. Day

Yesterday was Cali's V.I.P. day at school. We (and by "we" I mean Christian designed it and did the letter while Cali and I glued the pictures on) made a poster all about her, and picked out some mini muffins at the store for her to share with her class.

At school she was presented with a crown complete with a coronation ceremony and song. I held up the poster and told a little bit about her, while she giggled and smiled and pointed to the pictures. Afterward she answered questions from her class mates. Such questions included, "What is your favorite food?" "What is your favorite hot food?" and "What is your favorite breakfast food?" I think these kids must have been hungry.

Later at school Cali she passed off her first level which means she can spell her first and last name using the correct case, count to 30 with no errors, recite her phone number and birthday including the year. She was so excited, and we were so proud.

However, one tragedy did occur amid all the joy. After school she and a friend bumped into each other, which caused her crown to fly off her head and into the road. Before she even knew what happened a car ran it over and smashed it flat. She sobbed and sobbed, but told me that she didn't cry when it happened she waited to get home before she let the tears fly. It was very heartbreaking. So, I'm on a quest to find a new crown for my little V.I.P.

Gym Ass Kicks (aka Gymnastics)

Right before Cali turned three I signed her up for gymnastics. She loved it. I didn't. Carter was just a little boy and was too squirmy to hold, and much too young to take a class himself. Not to mention the staff at the gym (which shall not be named) were not very attentive (in my opinion). Her coach asked her each week, "now, what is your name again?" Which I thought was a little impersonal. I didn't think the staff was very attentive. So, I was torn. Cali loved it. She didn't care that they didn't pay attention to her, but for the money I was paying I expected more. So we stuck it out for a year. We quit when she turned four, and took a year off.

Cali has been asking all year long when she can get back into "gymasskicks", I really wanted to make sure that we had a better experience, so I kind of just put her off. Then several months ago my friend Leisa suggested the gym where she coaches, Bailie's. We finally got Cali signed up and she had her first class yesterday. The girl has never been happier, and neither have I. The staff and coaches were right on, and I noticed a marked difference in their teaching techniques. It was a great experience.

Her favorite thing was the beam and she also enjoyed chalking up her hands. With her recent physical milestones she was right at home on the bars. As for the sweaty shirt. It's not sweat at all, it's spit. For whatever reason Cali thought it was necessary to chew on her shirt while she was waiting for her turn or listening to instructions. When I asked her why she was chewing on her clothes she told me, "my tank top is a little too low, so I was holding it up with my mouth so my boobs didn't hang out." Thank goodness that five year old boobs don't do much hanging!

Beware of Giants (or Midgets)

So which one is it? Am I a giant? Or, is she a midget? If you know us, you may say both statements are true. I've never been know for my petite frame, and she pretends to be five feet tall (which is a literal and figurative stretch).

Last Friday we showed up to work in about the same outfit, if it had been anyone else I would have been totally humiliated. However, since it was just my sissy I didn't mind too much. Our coworkers thought it was equally hilarious, so we took a picture.

This very day we went to Costa Vida to split a salad and I watched in awe at the problems little people encounter. First, a lady in line nearly smashed Bethany. This woman mowed her over and didn't even see her. Second, another lady snuggled right up to her and stood way too close for comfort. Bethany claims that strange things like this happen to little people all the time. She has even had people pat her on the head. Nothing like this has ever happened to me, so I guess there are some pros to being the "big one".

Well, I guess I better go hem some pants. I have three pairs of Bethany's pants here that need at least 3 inches taken off.

More pictures of this fateful occurance can be found here.

Physical Milestones Galore

It's been exciting the past few weeks to see Cali's newest physical developments (no, she did not grow boobs like she wants to). It seemed like as soon as she turned five her body turned a corner t00. First, she lost Roxy (remember her tooth that she named?). Next, she lost Kelsey (Roxy's sister tooth on the bottom in the front). She actually lost Kelsey at school. She was chewing on a bracelet and popped her right out of her mouth. Then she carefully put Kelsey in a little pocket on her backpack. Bad news, the pocket was made out of mesh and she lost Kelsey on the way home. Grandma Vicki was tending when this even occurred and retraced about every step Cali had taken, no luck. Kelsey is gone. Now where Roxy and Kelsey once lived there are two new jagged giant teething pushing their way up. The one on the left has grown in the most, and has been named Trixie. Trixie makes it easier for Cali to finally chew carrots and apples.

We also experienced a five year old miracle. Cali can now ride a bike without any training wheels. I call this a miracle, because many of you know that Cali (like her mother) lacks some basic rhythm and coordination. Christian thinks her dancing is like "watching a seizure". We worked with her for a while, but she never could get the hang of the balancing. When she would take a couple pedals by herself, she would get so excited that she would spread her legs in the air. Result: a large crash. Then one day, she got it. She just started pedaling and didn't stop. It was amazing, and she was the proudest five year old on the block. She still hasn't mastered the sidewalk (which is a little dangerous) but she's as good as gold on the open road. Please slow down if you are driving through H.F!



She has also mastered the monkey bars. Most of our summer was spent with her dangling from the first bar, and then screaming and freaking before she could even reach to the next one. Not anymore. She can go down and back over and over. She has the blisters to prove it. She has even figured out how to move her body and gain momentum to swing to the next bar. A small feat for some, a huge deal for Cali. Check out her form. I think she may have an Olympic event in her future.

We Made It

We officially survived the first week of school. Some of Cali's quotes from the first week of school:

"This is WAY better than preschool."

" I have tummy ache from walking around and around and around the school."

"Dad, guess what? School didn't suck today!"

"Do we HAVE to do this EVERY day?"

"My teacher is a grandma and she loves hugs."

"I want to order a t-shirt with a bob cat (their mascot) on it, but not a ferocious one."

"Mom, is it really necessary for you to walk me all the way to school, when I know how to get there by myself?"

At the end of the first week Cali received a bobcat paw which means that she was caught showing respect and responsibility to her fellow class mates. Her teacher told me that she was wonderful, and I tried not to act shocked. Not that Cali isn't wonderful, but she has a hard time showing respect and responsibility at home. Apparently at school she is very obedient and does everything she is asked the first time she is asked to do it, and has NEVER thrown a fit.

I'm not going to lie, I'm impressed! Now if some of the good behavior could just transfer to our home, I would really be happy!